Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Nothing New

I haven't had much inclination for alone time lately. When I've had a chance, I've tried working on something new, but it's just not going as planned. Maybe I'll post it up anyway. Nothing too exciting to be sure. Just more of my armchair self-psychoanalysis, I guess.

A word about the pictures. The girlish submissive is disappearing the further away I get from my little encounter with Tara. So the cock-sucking, cross-dressing desires are very much waning. So instead I've been posting images from childhood that I'm sure somehow had a very big impact on making me the little perv I am today, even if I don't understand how.



This is another rehash from my blog before its purge. More stories of early childhood.


Now I had picked up that “fucking” a woman made a baby, but I really had no idea why the older guys were so obsessed with accomplishing this feat. Why did they all want to “fuck” a woman? It certainly wasn't to make a baby. That was just a consequence. No, the “fucking” was the point, but why was it so important?

Good people didn't want to do such things. My Father never talked about it, and he was good. Neither did my Mother, nor even my older sister. The teacher didn't. Not even “Playboy.” It was mostly boring stuff like every other magazine. Maybe there'd be a picture of a cool car or motorcycle now and then, but except for those couple pages of women undressing, it was very much like every other magazine. No, there just weren't any adults who talked about the things my brother and his friends did in secret. Plainly it was bad. I shouldn't know these things, and I should never let any adult know I did.

Hollywood and the censors reinforced my misconceptions. Movies and TV didn't talk like the older kids either. Those people were like my parents. They got married, had a home, and one day the sweet wife would tell her husband she was going to have a baby. The man was always surprised. Obviously, they hadn't “fucked.” “Fucking” made a baby. If he had “fucked” her, then why should he be surprised? Babies just happened after people got married. Why not? Hair grows on our heads without a reason. People grow and change. Women look very different from little girls. Why shouldn't a baby just begin in a woman as another part of growing up?

But even at that precocious age I intended to be different. I thought, when I got married, I was going to “fuck” my wife to have a baby, and I was going to tell my kids that I “fucked” their mother to have them!



*That's Susan Dey as Laurie Partridge, Dawn Wells and Tina Louise as Maryanne and Ginger, Maureen McCormick as Marcia Brady, a JCPenny catalog shot. And the "Gay" pics? Like Calgon, that's my ancient Chinese secret!

2 comments:

perfectlips said...

I love your blog!

I remember women were very attractive and mysterious early on. Is that blonde girl from the Brady Bunch? I secretly fancied her. I think I even pretended to be looking at different parts of the TV screen so people wouldn't see I was watching her.

JamieLin said...

Thank you.

Yes, that's "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!" Secretly, I think most boys liked Marcia, but it was trendy to be a thinking man and claim Jan.

Gosh but that bit about pretending not to recognize your sexual attraction sounds very, very familiar.